Fangache
by drookit duck
Summary: It's wonderfully sunny in sunnydale... and to add to his misery, Spike has a toothache.
1. Chapter 1

_**Fang-Ache**_

_A.N. - Hello, All! I came up with this (not so original) idea whilst in the middle of a very painful tooth-ache in my Advanced Higher Art class (which I passed! Yay!). Thought it would be kind of funny and decided just to write it and give it a try._

_Please review, I promise, I don't bite... honestly! smirks_

_Hani xXx_

Chapter 1 - The Sandals From Hell

It was hot and sunny. Well, it was Sunnydale... Sunnydale was often hot and sunny even in Winter. The fact that this was generally because Sunnydale was usually battling some great fiery hell-based threat was a fact that Buffy Summers generally liked to ignore.

Today was sunny in the conventional way. No great fiery hell-based threats that Buffy could see... Not _yet _anyway. There was _always_ some great fiery hell-based threat just around the corner. But Buffy was in an optimistic kind of mood and was at present ignoring that specific corner.

She wandered down the street in her light beige top and dressy-casual jeans. She'd chosen some very pretty sandals from her wardrobe which she'd completely forgotten about. She soon remembered the reason _why _she'd completely 'forgotten' about said sandals when she noticed the massive blister on her heel.

"Damn it." she exclaimed, limping over to a nearby wall to massage her injury, "Stupid sandals." she groaned on like this for some time, then finally decided that hurrying to her destination, the Magic Box, would decrease her discomfort. Or, at least, offer a sugary drink and possibly a spell to rid her of her blister. She hoped the latter would be available. Gawd, did she hope so.

She limped on down the street, attracting odd looks from general passers-by. Buffy was used to recieving odd looks; she'd been popular, then unpopular, then an out-and-out freak at high school; she'd also been beaten up and wounded many times. A bleeding girl staggering out of a graveyard will always attract odd looks... although not that many people did venture out near graveyards after dark. The vampire population in Sunnydale saw to that. She reached the Magic Box and threw herself inside, in a style usually adopted by Spike when he's avoiding the sun. She kicked off the 'evil sandals from hell', and slammed them against the wall.

"Are they evil biting sandals?" Xander asked, staring at the offending shoes.

"Nope. They're stupid heel blistering sandals." Buffy corrected, giving the pretty shoes one last glare before sitting down in a vacant chair around the table of books. She looked at the books as if she'd never seen them before, then looked at Willow and Xander and Giles, then looked back at the books. She did this again, and then also glanced at the several empty coffee cups.

"We're having group hang time?"

Giles removed his spectacles and began to clean them. "No. We're not."

"There was something in the papers," Willow said, "A murder... the murderer took the guy's eyes." she made a grossed-out face then lifted a book. "We think it may have been this demon."

"Well, we've narrowed it down to that demon." Giles said, finally replacing the glasses.

Buffy took the book and looked at the demon. It was a pretty typical demon, as far as demons go. It had gnarled looking greyish skin and big scary-as-hell claw-like talon-thingies. It had the big fangs thing going down, and basically looked pretty much like every other demon Buffy had ever encountered. Except for one thing. It had no eyes.

"Bye bye nice summers' day." she said putting the demonology book down. "Do we know anything about this thing?"

"Well, if it is, indeed, this demon it will be nocturnal." Giles explained.

Buffy perked up a little, "So we're saying that a nice hot sunny day of fun is not out of the question?"

Giles frowned, "Work comes first, Buffy."

"I know," she said, sounding utterly deflated, "It's just that I was all dressed for the weather... and we need some fun." she grinned, "And I thought we could go to the beach."

"Surfing?" Xander asked.

"Ice-cream with those little flakes?" Willow said, her face lighting up.

"No. Definately not, I forbid it." Giles said, in his best party-pooper tone of voice, "We have to find this thing and, and kill it."

"We have to find the what and do what?" Dawn asked as she and Tara entered. Anya, who had been by the till in her 'happy-to-help-as-long-as-you're-happy-to-buy' pose rushed over to take the bag of empty till rolls from the blonde wicca.

"Thankyou, I'm grateful." she said, rushing back to the till to install one into it.

Tara smiled then went to the table to sit by Willow.

"There's some demon stealing eyes." Buffy said.

"Oh." Dawn said, her face fallen, "Could we maybe leave it and go to the beach?"

Buffy grinned, great minds think alike and all. But no, she had to set a good example.

"No, Dawnie, work comes first. We have to find this thing and kill it." she grinned at Giles.

Dawn whined, "Why? It's lovely outside." she indicated the window, "And if we wait until dark, Spike can help."

Everyone looked uncomfortable. The teenager was always so happy around Spike.

The truth was that Spike would probably be not help anyway... he was having some problems of his own, and they certainly weren't beach-related.

_A.N. - I'm sorry that was short and didn't have any Spike in it. I promise next chapter will have lots of Spike. And he's gonna be topless, promise!_


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 - Of Wax and Beer

"Oww!" Spike snarled, "Bloody hell." he threw a nearby, luckily unlit, candle at the bare stone wall of his crypt and it smashed into a waxy mess. He turned violently, searching for another candle to demolish; it had made him feel slightly better. There was a serious lack of candles. He cursed and stormed over to the fridge in search of cold beer. Alcohol; that's what he needed.

He opened the door and snatched a small glass bottle. It really was kinda small... he shrugged and grabbed two others before slamming the fridge shut and going over to sit on the comfy chair.

Sitting down he pulled the top off his beer and took a generous swig. The beer was frothy and cold and hurt like hell! He spat it out, yelling in pain. The cold, alcoholic liquid dribbled down his bare chest. Spike looked down, watching the beer move down his stomach and onto his jeans.

"Bugger." he picked up the opened bottle, sighed and then chucked it full force at the same wall which he had earlier attacked with the candle. He looked at the sludgy, waxy, beer coated mess with an air of pride. Just then another jolt of agony shot through his upper jaw and he clamped his hand to his face.

"Bloody, buggerin' hell." he complained, he briefly wished that he had a reflection so that he could see the extent of the damage. Stupid lack of reflection. The problem, of course, was that he knew what the damage was. It was all very simple in fact. He'd been having an epic battle with... OK, a bar brawl, with an odd-looking demon with warty pink skin. The demon had started it; he had been a poncy sort of idiot wearing a rather grotesque bird-print shirt. Ted, the demon, had not started the night very well - mainly because he spilled beer on Spike. However, Spike was willing to forgive this. Ted then started talking to Spike in a very overly-friendly way. Ted also kept referring to Spike as 'pal'. Then Ted made his final two mistakes; one - he touched Spike's arm, an act never to be repeated, and, two - he began to slag off the Slayer. It's one thing to spill beer on a guy, apologise incessantly, touch his arm and call him 'pal', and not to mention insult his vision with grotesque clothing. It is definately worth a kicking to make obscene remarks about the woman he loves, whether or not you know that he loves her. Basically, Ted the demon annoyed Spike to point that he asked him to 'step outside' and then beat the undead crap out of him. Sadly, for Spike, Ted got one lucky punch in and cracked a tooth. Even more sad is the fact that it wasn't any old tooth, but a canine so therefore a fang. Worse still was the fact that by the time Spike had noticed this Ted was no more and therefore couldn't pay the dental bills. Bollocks.

Spike walked over to look outside; the sun was out full-force. A wonderful Sunnydale day, unless you were a vampire. He sighed and disappeared down the ladders to sleep. If he could ignore the pain, that is.

_A.N. - Sorry that was so short :) my chapters vary in length quite a bit :) It's just so long since I've posted anything... I'm outta practise! Will update if I get reviews :) smirks ah, bribery, an excellent tool :)_

_Hani xXx_


	3. Chapter 3

_A.N.- WOW! Thankyou all for the wonderful feedback! As promised, I have updated, but same again, no reviewsno update :) me? evil? nichts!_

_btw, I'll try and read at least one story from all my reviewers - it's how i found the most kick-ass stories last year!_

_HanixXx_

Chapter 3 - Ice-cream

The sun was so hot the sand was burning their asses as they sat on it. Each individual grain felt like a tiny little flame. Buffy rubbed sun-tan lotion onto her shoulders, watching Giles phaffing around with a rug.

"It needs to be flat with no sand on it." he said, flicking it again. Xander stood up to help the Englishman and Anya made a sound of complaint as her boyfriend-sun-shade moved. Xander flicked the rug for Giles, but only succeeded in getting everyone covered in hot sand.

"Oops." he said, grinning.

Tara rubbed sun block onto Willow's back, they'd both went home to get tankini's. Buffy was sporting a new black bikini with matching sarong, it had a jewelled heart on it. Anya was dressed in an orange shirt with sequins on it; she hadn't got changed to come to the beach. Xander had just taken his shirt off, they were all thankful that Giles hadn't. In fact they all felt quite at home on the busy beach, especially Dawn, who had went straight to the water to paddle. She'd went home to get a pink and blue bikini with 'babe' written in large green letters on the bra. She'd thought it was cute, Buffy had thought it was stupid. Therefore, Dawn had bought it.

"Ice-cream!" Dawn yelled, hopping up the beach as the sand scorched her bare feet, "We need ice-cream!" she pointed over their heads and they all turned to see an ice-cream truck stopping in the car-park.

"Yeah," Willow said, "with those little chocolate flakes!"

"And strawberry sauce." Tara said.

Xander nodded in agreement and they all turned to look expectantly at Giles.

Giles sighed, "Why am I expected to buy it?"

"You're the adult." Buffy smiled.

"Come on Giles, one each!" Dawn yelled as she threw herself onto her beach towel, inspecting her sore feet.

Giles sighed again, "Why do I let you do it?" he asked more to himself than the excited young people. He raided his wallet and handed Dawn a note.

"Get those funny little sprinkles," Anya said, "and Xander likes chocolate sauce." she grinned at her boyfriend. Dawn rolled her eyes and hopped over to the carpark.

She returned with a cardboard holder with the goodies inside. They all took a treat each and Giles held his hand out for change. Dawn grinned and handed him 1 dollar.

"I gave you a twenty!" he said, outraged.

"It's expensive on the beach." Dawn shrugged, licking her chocolate covered cone.

Giles sighed again, "I don't see any of you having a pitiful vanilla cone." he said glaring at his pathetic ice-cream.

"You snooze," Xander said.

"You lose!" Dawn finished with a grin that went from ear to ear and had a completely chocolate moustache to match.

"Well," Giles began but was cut off when a screaming child ran right past him, knocking his cone to the sandy ground.

Giles looked down at the sludgy mess that was once a cone, in dismay.

"Aww." Buffy said, patting his shoulder, "You could always buy yourself another."

Giles looked at her darkly, he would not pay for another ice-cream, especially not with only one dollar.

"I know your pain," Xander said, dribbling chocolate sauce down his chin, "I too once knew the loss of an ice-cream to a screaming child." he paused, "Although I was only 4 at the time."

Anya stroked his hair, "Well, I'd have punished the child... but I suppose he would have forgotten by now." she said.

"No I haven't." Willow said, grinning. Xander pouted at her.

Just then a large drop of water plopped into Buffy's tub of fudge-flavoured ice-cream.

"Huh?" she looked up and got another in the face. They looked about to see little wet dots all over the sand, seemed like their fun at the beach was to be cut short by rain.

A dullness crept over the room. Spike lay on his bed staring at the ceiling. He'd left the trap door open so that he could see the daylight. He hadn't gotten to sleep; the pain had been too much. Damn toothache. He watched the light dull and knew it was raining. He decided to use the change in weather to his benefit; Giles owed him some gratitude... well maybe not, but he'd give in and give him a pain-numbing spell, he had to; he was one of the white-hats. That's what they did.

Spike pushed himself out of bed and headed out into the rain.


	4. Chapter 4

_A.N.- okay, okay, I felt like loading up another chappie, because you were all so nice and reviewed my last two :) But this time I mean it about the updateyness :) Thankyou all again for the great reviews and I'll do shout-out's to peepswho reviewed next chapter, okay?_

_:) Rock on!_

_Hani xXx_

Chapter 4 - Healing Charm Anybody?

It had been raining for two straight hours. There were no longer any clues that the day had started out a blistering hot beach day. The Scoobies sat around the table in the Magic Box looking glum... Except Giles who looked pleased at the lack of ice-cream and rampaging children. Anya served the last of the days' customers; a woman wearing a fluffy pink hat, who wanted a numbing spell.

"That's the last of those." Anya said, taking the empty cardboard packaging to throw out. She looked at Buffy accusingly, "If you hadn't used two attempts for your blistered ankles we'd have one left."

"I needed one for each foot." Buffy retorted. She looked at her ankles, which were red-raw but completely painless, "When will it wear off?"

"Twenty-four hours guarranteed." Giles said casually, "Or your money back."

"Although, in this case, we didn't recieve any money in exchange for the charm." Anya said quickly tally-totalling the days' intake and matching it to her register total, "I'm 3 dollars short, Giles."

Giles raided a pocket and pulled out a dollar, "Consider it your ice-cream fund." he said darkly.

The sun was nowhere to be seen. Spike walked close to the buildings which lined Sunnydale high street, just to be sure, but he'd passed at least three other vampires out enjoying the early darkness. Sadly none of them were terribly happy to see him.

"Traitor!" one yelled, drawing attention to Spike from human passers-by.

Spike glared at the idiot and gave him the fingers before continuing towards the Magic Box. He was actually just outside when it happened.

He was just reaching for the door when three horrible things happened to him at one time, so fast that even a vampire like himself couldn't have avoided them; One - the sun appeared from behind a cloud, burning and blistering his skin, then disappeared again. Two - an explosion of pure agony suddenly jolted from his damaged tooth. Three - he was attacked from behind by two angry-looking demons.

Spike hollered out in pain and surprise. Once he'd realised what was going on, it was too late. The larger of the two demons grabbed him, pinning his arms behind him. Spike struggled against the demon, but the warty pink-skinned mammoth had him held fast and outweighed him by almost three times Spike's body-weight. The smaller demon, taking advantage of Spike's disadvantage, started pummelling him. The smaller demon smashed him in the face, one side followed by the other. Spike glared at him angrily and attempted, in vain, to escape the bigger demon's grasp. The smaller one punched him hard in the stomach. Spike may not have to breathe, but it hurt like hell. Once he could breathe again, Spike suddenly remembered that he had legs. He kicked out at the demon sending him flying onto the road. Lucklily for the blonde vampire, a large delivery truck happened to be passing by above the speed-limit and squashed the demon into a pink, gloopy mess.

The larger demon hollered out grabbed Spike around the throat, forcing him to look him in the face.

"You have killed both my brothers, Vampire." he said in a voice that sounded higher than was natural.

"What's your problem, powder puff?" Spike demanded, "I happen to recall that _you_ jumped _me_!"

The demon closed it's claws around Spike's throat, effectively stopping him talking. "You insult my clan by killing my brothers." he warned.

Spike tried to speak but only succeeded in making small choking noises. The demon let go of his throat roughly and yanked Spike up in the air, pinning his arms to his sides. The demon held him there like he was no more than a doll.

"I will kill you, vampire." the demon said.

Spike, for lack of other retaliation, spat into the demon's face. The demon pulled away, dropping Spike to a heap on the ground, "Filthy half-breed!" pinky yelled.

Spike staggered to his feet, "Yeah, well at least I'm not an oversized candyfloss on helium." he muttered. The demon roared and grabbed Spike by the jaw. Pain flooded through Spike and he struggled and yelled. The demon frowned, "I am not hurting you, vampire." he said. He dropped Spike again, this time Spike stayed lying on the ground, hand clamped to his face. The world was spinning with pain.

"Bloody toothache." he said, more to himself than to the demon, "Nice little present from your brother Teddy-boy."

The demon made a barking laugh, "Ah, a vampire with toothache. How fitting." he looked down at Spike and prodded him in the stomach with one leather clad foot, "You should see a dentist."

With that the demon disappeared. The toothache appeared to be fitting enough punishment for the demon.

Spike groaned and pushed himself painfully to his feet, remembering the newly acquired scalds from the sunlight. He opened the door to the Magic Box and limped inside.

He was met with astonished looks.

"Wow, Spike's all beat-up and Buffy didn't do it." Xander said, he then turned to Buffy, "Didn't you?"

"Nope." the Slayer said, "Not me."

Spike gave them all a very unamused glare, then limped over to the cash register.

"I need a numbing spell. A big bugger of a numbing spell." he peeled off his shirt, thankful that he had not been wearing his duster or else it would have been permanently attached, to reveal the scalded flesh. It had blistered up, and looked raw and messy.

Anya shook her head, "We're all out."

Spike looked at her in dismay, "Don't piss me about."

"I swear, no pissing." Anya said, then she paused, "No, I mean, I'm not joking...we just sold the last one."

Spike pulled himself painfully up onto the counter, "Then, I need a healing charm."

"Haven't ordered any in." Anya said.

"Healing charms? You get those?" Buffy asked, looking at her heels. Then she looked at Spike and decided maybe he'd got the worst of the bargain.

Spike sighed and rested his head on his hands but his tooth throbbed and he pulled away with a hiss.

"You have vampire healing, right?" Dawn asked, "Couldn't you just wait for it to, you know, work?"

Spike got off the counter and limped over to the youngest Summers.

"For that to work, I need to feed." he said.

She frowned, "Don't you have any blood?"

Spike pulled up a vacant chair and slumped down onto it, "I can't feed. It hurts."

Buffy groaned, "Have you lost your memory again, Spike? The chip only works when you hurt PEOPLE, you can drink from packets."

Spike glared at her, "It's not that, you moron." he said. He went into vampire fascade very slowly and with considerable pain as the damaged tooth lengthened into a fang. He indicated the bloody cracked mess that once was a fang, "It hurts to drink, to bite, to bloody well do anything!"

Buffy looked almost sympathetic, then got over it, "Well, go see a dentist."

"And how, exactly, do I explain _this_?" Spike asked in disbelief indicating his bumpy forehead and pointed teeth.

"A bad facial reconstruction?" Willow offered. Spike gave the Wicca an impatient look, then stood up slowly.

"A word, Rupes?" Spike asked, the ex-watcher, who was cleaning his specs, nodded and followed Spike out of earshot.

"What is it, Spike? We're very busy."

"Yeah," Spike sneered, "So I see." he glanced at the Scoobies, who were now sipping rapidly cooling coffee. "You need to help me." he turned back to the older Englishman, his face showing an expression of pain.

"Oh, I _need _to help you?" Giles asked in disbelief, "Why would I do that?"

"You're a white-hat, you tell me." Spike said, his piteous expression dissolving.

"Spike, as much as your situation is... pathetic,"

Spike glared at him.

"Bad word-choice..." Giles said, watching the vampire warily. Spike may have the chip, but push him too far and he may just forget. Giles had witnessed the vamp take a large amount of punishment and still come out on top.

"Damn right, Rupert." Spike warned, "Look, help me and I'll help you." he bargained, "Just fix me up-"

Giles sighed, "I don't know what you expect, Spike." he said, "I'm no dentist. I may have dug that tracer out of you're shoulder, but I cannot perform dental surgery."

Spike rolled his eyes. "I don't want you digging your fingers in my mouth, you dolt." he said, "What do you think I am? Insane? Just find me a dentist... one who'll understand who I am." he added.

"_What _you are, don't you mean?" Anya asked, appearing behind Spike. The two Englishmen turned to look at her in surprise.

"'Privacy' just doesn't exist anymore, does it?" Spike complained.

"Oh, fine. Don't accept my help." Anya said, feeling somewhat snubbed, "But I happen to know a highly professeional demonic dentist." she turned on her heel to go, but a black finger-nailed hand grabbed her shoulder.

"Wait, love. What's this about a demon dentist?"

Anya turned back smiling broadly, "There's a demon dental practioner. He's called Robert Jenkins." she grinned again, flashing her own pearly whites, "Or, as he prefers, Bob. He's been around for years. He really is very good. Does all the demons in this area... and certain parts of Brazil and Germany."

Spike stared at her, "You mean there's some demon out there practicing dentistry?"

Giles removed his glasses to give them their quarter-hourly cleaning, "Yes, well... very practical.

A-a-and forthcoming, I must say. This seems to sort out all your problems." he said to Spike. The vampire nodded slightly.

"S'pose so." he said, his voice sounding distant.

_A.N.-Good? Bad? Disappointing? Come on, review! You know I want you to! lol :) Nah, honestly people, I really want to know what you think because I'm open to judgement... but not abuse._


	5. Chapter 5

_A.N - wow the feedback from this is really great everyone! Everyon'es really supportive and not afraid to give me their views. I know I promised shout outs, but I've not had time to write out my list of comments, so I promise, promise, PROMISE to do it next time for everyone who's reviewed right from the beginning :) Please enjoy, and reviews, as always, are appreciated!_

_Hani xXx_

Chapter 5 - Demonic Dentistry

Anya returned to the table with a scrap of paper. On it was an address, a phone number and an appointment time.

"You're expected at midnight." she said, handing the scrap to Spike. Spike scowled down at the paper.

"Right. Thanks, pet." he said, not sounding at all thankful. He prodded his canine to remind himself why he was about to subject himself to something so horrible. The pain shivered through his mouth and caused him to make a yelp. Everyone looked at him. Spike glared at them and swept off into the corner.

Dawn leaned over close to Tara who was stroking a hand absently through Willow's hair. "I think Spike's a little scared of the dentist." she whispered. Xander and Buffy exchanged looks, both smiling.

"Aww, Spike!" Xander chided, "Imagine a big tough-as-nails vampire like you being frightened of the drill." he made a buzzing noise.

Spike growled, "I am NOT frightened of the dentist." he said. Buffy grinned.

"Why so twitchy then?" the Slayer asked, innocently.

Spike turned on her, "That's it, I'm leaving. Anya, cancel that appointment." he gave Buffy a two-fingered salute and made for the door. But the Slayer grabbed his arm and swung him around. She looked at him, then suddenly realised he was topless and close enough for her to feel the coolness of his skin. She stepped back, but kept hold of his wrists.

"You are going to this appointment." she said, "And don't argue." she added as the vampire opened his mouth to do just that.

"Why? Why do you give a monkey's bollocks?" he snarled, his voice a low whisper.

Buffy blinked. Because she did care. Because she couldn't ever admit that she didn't like to see him this way. Because he was in pain. Because it just wasn't sexy seeing him looking starved because he couldn't eat. "Because if you don't, you'll whine even more than normal." she said.

Spike's eyes widened slightly. "And, of course, you'd _never_ do that." he said sarcastically. Buffy slapped him and he buckled over in pain as she collided into his damaged tooth.

"Oh. Sorry!" she said, then frowned, "I mean...good!"

Spike snatched his wrist out of her grasp and continues towards the door. Again, he was stopped by the Slayer.

"Just go, Spike. It's not costing you anything... I'll pay the bill." Buffy said, and actually meant it.

"Actually..." Anya said.

Spike sighed and looked at Buffy earnestly, "I'm not going. Thanks, but I'd rather cope with the pain."

"You came here for help!" Buffy yelled, annoyed by his behaviour.

"Actually the-" Anya tried again.

"Yeah, well a bloody good offer you've given me, deal or the dentist." Spike snarled, angry by her behaviour.

"If you'd all listen!" Anya yelled. Silence fell over the room.

"Good. Right. Well, as I was saying, this demonic dental practitioner doesn't accept money as a valid form of payment."

Everyone waited for her to continue.

"Uhm, well, I know, it's a little weird, I mean who wouldn't want money?" everyone waited for her to continue... well that, and possibly, to tell them something useful.

"What does he accept as valid form of payment, Ahn?" Xander asked.

Anya shuffled, "An offering..."

"Of what variety?"

"The sacraficial kind..." she said, well too cheerfully. Everyone gasped, except Spike who looked slightly happier at the news that he was unlikely to have to go to the dentist.

_A.N- views? Continue? Want to find Spike at the dentist? lol :)_

_HanixXx_

_ps - anyone who's disappointed I've not updated 'insane? me?' I promise to update after my driving test!_


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 - the room of pain

_AN - sorry for not updating in so long.Hopefully me updating now will make up for it? please :) Plus Spike shirtless and chained to a dentist chair :)_

_Hani xXx_

It was getting late. The Magic Box had been closed for three hours, and still, much to the annoyance of its proprietors, the gang were still inside. Spike was sitting on the counter flicking his lighter on and off and every so often making a hiss of agony if he clenched his teeth too hard. Anya was counting her money, for the eighth time that day. Giles and Buffy were through the back room training and also discussing ways to over-come this small sacrificial issue. The others, namely Xander, Dawn, Tara and Willow were now enjoying a hardcore game of snap with a pack of Anya's enchanted playing card packs.

"Bingo!" Dawn yelled loudly, slamming her final card down on top of its double.

"Dawnie, I think the common term is 'snap'." Tara said kindly, with the mention of the word 'snap' the cards glowed a deep crimson then shuffled themselves and dealt between the players.

"You know, what with it being the name of the game and all." Willow said, picking up her hand face-down.

"I don't think so, " Dawn said lifting her cards for a peek and recieving a paper cut from the enchanted Ace for cheating, "Ouch! I think it was a happy accident."

"I agree with the Dawnster." Xander said cheerfully, "Definately wasn't planned."

"Then why is it called 'Snap'?" Willow asked, placing her first card down.

"Maybe it was invented by a hungry aligator?" Xander said.

Spike rolled his eyes.

"Don't be silly," Anya said, carefully replacing her money into it's safebox, "Aligators don't play games."

Spike groaned, "Stop the conversation." he said darkly, "Or I'll make one of you lunatics the ritual sacrifice."

"Oh no you don't, " Xander said, "Your dirty teeth are not worth one of us."

Spike leapt up, he was just in the right kind of mood to start a fight, chip and toothache or not.

"My teeth are clean you git, cleaner than yours!"

"You think so?" Xander also got to his trainer-clad feet.

"Separate!" Willow said very commandingly and the force of her power sent both males apart from one another.

Spike glared at the human man angrily, with a glint of promised violence. Xander smiled and made a 'bring it on' movement with his hands.

"You know, I don't see why we're all still here." Anya said, walking past Spike towards her Xander.

"We can't just kill somebody so that Spike can go to a dentist." Willow said, packing up the cards to put them away.

"Some_body_?" Anya smiled, "Who said anything about the ritual sacrifice being a person?"

"But you-"

"No, I said it had to be a 'ritual sacrifice'." She sat down next to Xander who had the same bemused expression on his face as everyone around him. "A chicken, a fish... anything. Human's are only needed for big jobs...like canal work."

Anya stared around at all the open mouthed people surrounding her. "So we can leave my shop now?"

The damp, dark office was one of the most depressing places Spike had ever seen; and he lived in a crypt.

The walls were green and mildewed and the moth-eaten, brown furniture was so decrepit that the thin and ragged cloth was torn to reveal the old, sagging and rusted springs.

Spike and Buffy walked past the small wooden coffee table which was littered with out of date magazines about cross-stitching, towards the dirty desk where a grubby demon woman sat filing her long black talons.

Spike gave Buffy a look and the Slayer waved her loaded crossbow at him. He also knew that at least three of the others were outside with enough holy water to make him not want to cross their paths.

"Secretary, I presume." Spike said, approaching the filthy girl. She looked up and flashed blackened teeth at him but it was more snarl than smile. "Do you have an appointment?"

"Yeah." he held up the scrap of paper that Anya had given him. The grubby demon girl flicked through her suspiciously empty appointments book.

"No appointments tonight." she said with a sneer worthy of Draco Malfoy.

"Oh well." Spike said, turning to face the armed Slayer, "Did you hear that? No appointments."

"Oh wait," Said the Demon girl in a bored voice, "there is one appointment." Spike turned in dismay.

"Bugger."

"You're the emergency surgery?"

"What?" Spike said, "Surgery?"

"I'll let you in this time." she said, as if she was doing him a favour, "But next time, book an ordinary appointment."

"I'll keep that in mind." Spike said darkly, thinking about the very likely possibility that there would be no 'next time'.

Suddenly, the door to the left of the secretary opened and a dazzling white light hit them. It was such a powerful contrast to the dull, murky room that it dazzled them temporarily. From within the shiny whiteness appeared a very small, grim-looking demon in a white lab coat-style jacket.

Spike took one look at the 'dentist' and turned to leave.

The Slayer shot at him with the crossbow. The dart missed his head by an inch and, instead, buried itself into the grubby green waiting room wall. Spike stopped with a grimace (the shock had made him jump and he'd gritted his teeth) and looked at the Slayer.

"Come back, Spike." Buffy warned, reloading the crossbow.

Spike threw up his arms in exasperation, "I can't!" he hissed, "I'm not..." he turned to look directly at her, ignoring the receptionist and the dentist. He had a very uncharacteristic expression of pleading on his handsome face, "Have you seen in there? Do you not remember the Initiative!" he demanded in a coarse whisper. Buffy shrugged and accidentally fired another crossbow dart. It embedded itself into Spike's shoulder and he collapsed to the dirty floor grasping one hand at his wounded shoulder. The receptionist barely moved. Clearly, she was used to clients bleeding in the surgery and waiting room.

"At least you're not thinking about your toothache?" Buffy said, grabbing Spike and heaving him to his feet.

"Oh great plan, Buffy." Spike said, yanking the dart from his own shoulder, "So glad you thought of it."

It took them several minutes to get Spike into the chair... it also took several lengths of chain and a strong sedative. But when they did finally get him there, he was fine... mainly because he was almost unconscious and also partially because three humans (one of which a Slayer) were holding him down.

The dentist examined Spike's teeth and prodded the offending canine with some odd metal thingy. Spike snarled and his face went into Demon visage. They all watched as the damaged Canine lengthened slowly and painfully into a fang. It no longer looked sharp and deadly and a definite 'crack' was heard when it started to change. The dentist made a 'tut-tutting' sound and brought out a drill.

Spike convulsed as the drill started up and Buffy had to physically shove him back onto the chair.

"Should we give him another tranquiliser?" Xander asked, although he suddenly realised why Spike was so awake - if it had been him in the chair, no amount of drugs would knock him out either.

"Oh no, he'll behave." the dentist said sternly.

The dentist worked rather quickly, despite the hindrance of odd-shaped claws. Pretty soon, he stepped back and announced that he was finished. Everyone else followed suit and stepped back too. They loosened the chains and Spike stood up drowsily.

"How does it feel?"

"Like someone just went through my mouth a cement drill." Spike said.

"Oh dear, forgot the anaesthetic again." the dentist said with a shrug. Both he and the receptionist/nurse cackled loudly.

Spike growled and morphed back into demon visage, he grabbed the dentist by the throat, if you could call the large grey fleshy bit a throat, and slammed him against the wall.

"I think that's a pretty unprofessional thing to do." Spike said darkly, he slammed the demon's head against the white tiles, "Especially when I can hurt demons."

The dentist smiled broadly and started to laugh maniacally. Spike dropped him roughly, "What?"

"How's your tooth, vampire?" the demon cackled.

Spike suddenly realised that it didn't hurt anymore, he'd vamped out and it hadn't hurt.

"Wow... Thanks, Doc, you're good."

"Payment shall be accepted at the desk." the dentist said with a smirk, "All major names are accepted."

They handed over two chickens which Xander had been sent for. He'd gotten to the small farm house and discovered no one home, so had foolishly decided to help himself. Safe to say, he shall always bear the marks of scratches and hen pecks. Never again, would he be able to look at a chocolate Easter chicken in the same way, without remembering the blood-thirsty nature of real hens.


End file.
